Every single spiritual seeker, or person searching for a way to live a more happier life, has come (at least once) in touch with this term. But what does really unconditional love mean? And why do we always find it as such an important ingredient?
Every religion recommends it, and all the self-development courses that are available today teach in some way about it. So it must have some importance, right? And it really does. It is the single most necessary ingredient required to change effortlessly, prosper and live a happy life.
If you are still not convinced about it, just check and see if hating and haters really do live a happy life?
Unconditional love can be best explained in a following way: I wish for you what you wish for you, and nothing else
Sometimes it can feel that loving unconditionally is not an easy thing to do. We are so used to conditional loving, which is ever present, all around us.
Conditional loving is usually in the form of sex and power games, manipulation, deceit. It is the way most of us have been brought and raised in this world.
It is how we see people around us communicate and drive their relationships. It is even something that we are learning extra, in various courses and classes, like ways on how to manipulate, how to argue and win every time, how to get what we want, how to present something in a different light etc.
Conditional love can be best explained in a following way: If you do what I want you to do I will love you, if you don’t I will destroy you
Unconditional Love is NOT EASY!! Or IS IT?
When we are surrounded with that prevalent pattern of conditional love, it could sometimes feel like it takes effort to love unconditionally something or someone, especially if that experience or person is bothering us or is not really a pleasant one.
In those situations, most of us find loving unconditionally an impossible thing to do. I know I had. It was not easy for me to really see the benefits of doing it, if it didn’t agree with my mental stories and beliefs. I had to have a justifiable (mental) reason for loving unconditionally. And I was constantly miserable.
So I started to question the premise, and the more I thought about it the more I saw it really didn’t make any sense, to withhold love until I have some reason for it.
And plus, when I thought about the situations where I was loving, I could recall I was really feeling good about myself and my life in general, for that brief moment.
No matter what the situation or the problem is, as soon as I started loving it started to get better and improve. The problems would somehow lessen their intensity or would completely disappear.
So I concluded I must have been doing something right when I was loving, because it felt nicer, so I could continue doing it even if it is primary just from the selfish reason of feeling a little better about myself or about something in my life.
In the end, it really comes down to forming a habit, and what we decide to do when we experience situations that challenge us in some way. When we don’t like something, the first thing that we unconsciously try to do is we try to change it by using any means we think we have at our disposal.
But in reality, as soon as something has happened, it has happened, and there is nothing we can do to really change it. That ship has sailed, you see. It’s a no win battle to insist on that way of reasoning and thinking. It’s water under the bridge
What is there to do then?
What we can do, in this moment, open ourselves to new things and experiences.
Allowing those new things and experiences will naturally “change” the outside situation, seemingly without effort. So we need to stop wasting our time on wanting to change something that has already happened, even if it was just a second ago, because for one simple reason, and that is that we can’t change something that has happened. Instead, we could start to ask ourselves, can I give love (approval) to that experience or situation. And for no reason other then by doing it I feel lighter and happier.
Moment by moment, giving even a little approval for even a few minutes, and continuing doing this and fully allowing the process, we will start to feel lighter and lighter.
Every one of us needs to take this into checking for ourselves. Try it and you will be amazed at what can happen. Loving unconditionally can’t be tough intellectually, and it doesn’t really need to as every one of us knows it deep inside, instead it needs to be experienced so that we can remember (re-learn) how to do it consciously.
You can do it yourself, or you can ask for a support, in a form of a consulting sessions or by enrolling in a self-taught online course where you are guided step by step so that you can experience what we were talking about here.
Everything I personally learned about unconditional love came from the course at http://www.changewithlove.com/RTLove