Why I Love God but Hate Religion

Why I love God and Hate Religion

Perhaps this title is coming off too strong. The truth is, Rudi doesn’t really hate religion if it makes people more loving…

Following is a letter written by my Twitter friend Rudi, who had a Near Death Experience (NDE) and is sharing his thoughts in a letter to a young man who wanted to know what he experienced when he died.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts below.

A letter to a young man who lost his religion

I died.

I had a NDE.

When I came back, I had to try and figure out how to navigate my life, without religious intolerance I learned to believe in.

Today, I am a recovering Fundamentalist, myself. I still believe, but no longer feel driven by the god who claims to the G@d, from my religion.

I met both the Light (the Sum of All Love) and the lesser aspect called G@d by billions, in my NDE. I prefer The Light, as my deity of choice now, but the lesser aspect that rules the comings and goings of souls cannot be discounted out of hand. This Earth is his playground and he makes the rules.

I also met a Jesus-like being in heaven who could very well be our ambassador to the Light or our Attorney.

He advocated for me, to the Light, even though, I was the worst kind of Christian.

He saw what was beautiful and loving in me and prepared me for the judgement.

I was 20 years old at the time; close to your age. He showed me what matters: loving relationships were top priority.

Be loving and show kindness to anyone in this life and those moments are permanently attached to your identity in the after-life.

When your physical body dies: All who you have shown loving kindness toward and those who have shown living kindness toward you will be there, where time does not exist, when you arrive in heaven. They will celebrate your arrival.

All actions or inactions that were not loving will be erased and forgotten.

I had had 20 years of life with only a very small portion of that time showing loving kindness.

As a Christian, I should have known love is what matters, but my religious teachers made me believe G@d hated people who were not Christian and worse… wanted them all to roast in hell forever.

The truth is that if religion make us less loving toward those without our brand of religion then it has done us a terrible dis-service.

I still believe, but I have changed what I believe.

I now know, G@d is love and love doesn’t hate.

There is a god calling himself G@d who most Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc. believe is GOD and billions of religious people pray to but he does not love us but rather controls the vast majority of souls who arrive on Earth. His control mechanism is Karma – an eye for an eye…

But he is not purely evil. He has rules. If you behave in a loving way then he cannot stop the angels from attending to your needs and guiding your path…

Whatever we choose to follow after in this world will follow us around until we choose other teachers.

If you are looking for a religious teacher, choose one that teaches you that All love from whomever it comes from is sacred.

If your religious teacher condemns anyone to hell for not having their particular religion then they are a liar.

In my NDE- i saw all kinds of loving souls there who were not from my bigoted and hateful religion that said G@d hated those not like me.

The very people, I would have killed for their religious beliefs, as a soldier for G@d, were loved by The Light in such an extraordinary way that I had to reconsider my belief system.

I still believe there is a lesser aspect of G@d that controls the world with rules that are hard and cruel but… I prefer giving my prayers and offer myself to a loving being who showed me what is important.

The Light showed me the currency of heaven… Love… We should do whatever we can to increase who we are loving, kind, merciful, compassionate toward, as this is the currency of the next world – our treasures.

Whatever we choose to follow – be it a religion that teaches us that G@d hates, or addictions that make us act unlovingly, choosing hate, the self-professed so-called G@d of this world will unleash unloving spirits on you as a type of teacher – the school of hard knocks, addictions, disease, etc.

When we die, whatever we have done – loving or not – lives on in this world and those spirits/witnesses/teachers will continue what we have begun. This is why we should attempt to remove our unloving thoughts and intentions from our lives.

If our religion helps us to love more and hate less than I am okay with religion. But, I will walk out mid-sentence if the religious teacher starts yammering on about how G@d hates.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

There are other important things that make it to heaven but the most important other things include enjoying in the natural beauty of the world.

Stop and smell the roses along the way.

Enjoy (show joy) toward nature and it will be added to your life review and will help you build your version of heaven.

Music is important in heaven. Sing out loud joyfully in this world as heaven is filled with awesome music… Musical instruments of all kinds are there… Music is a piece of what we are there.

Sing off key and it won’t matter there…

That is most of it. Do try to get rid of addictions and unloving, before you die, as unloving thoughts and words you generated will poison others.

Don’t hate yourself either.

If you love everyone else but hate you then you have done severe harm to those who recognize that in you…

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t be intellectually lazy.

When the ugly self-destructive self-talk comes, speak back to it with a plan that shows how you will overcome your accuser’s accusation.

Don’t let the ugly self-talk keep repeating itself like a broken record.

Tell it your plan and then fly your plan…

Do the best you can and that is good enough!


Rudi Rudenski clinically died in a car crash when he was 20 years old.

He experienced an amazing NDE but managed to return back to this world. This experience changed his life forever.

Rudi is an artist who makes mosaic stained glass embedded furniture, whose daytime job is a teacher of children and adults with disabilities.


If you want to contact him, he can be reached at rudirudenski@yahoo.com

6 thoughts on “Why I Love God but Hate Religion”

  1. I am not so proud of who I once was, but I can’t live there. My NDE changed my outlook I have outgrown my childhood religion and put in its place an understanding- kindness and affection are better words for love. That is who I met in heaven.

    1. Letting go of our past could sometimes be a difficult thing to do. What I noticed is that we all tend to be too hard on ourselves. Perhaps in reality we were not that terrible evil person in the past that we believe we were. All those events helped shape us to be the person we are today, and nothing can be rejected or disowned. If there is no darkness we would not be able to see the light.

      Only through integration can we find peace. And the best way to integrate anything and everything is to approach it with Love and from Love, or like you said, with kindness and affection.

      Thank you Rudi!

  2. Sinus’s, We can drag around our past like a chain around our neck or let it go… but sometimes it still seems like it is there… as if a phantom chain. I do sometimes feel the drawing back to my old ways of thinking… I was a soldier who hated Russians… because my religious teachers taught me to hate Russians… But Russian religious teachers are telling Russians to hate me. I don’t hate Russians anymore but I sure can’t approve of the Russian or any religious teacher who teaches hate… Loving Kindness and compassion is all I can hope for as Russian and other soldiers who rationalize their murderous religious(or it-relooks) beliefs directed toward killing one another. I hope the veil will lift from off of them before they die for those beliefs.

    1. Hi Rudi, lovely to hear from you again!
      Old ways of thinking in the form of beliefs, come from a long time ago, in some way they always exist and their pull is normal and understandable. It is our conscious decision not to believe them anymore. You speak about Loving Kindness and compassion, that is such a strong force, I know it has an effect on the world “out there”. So much more than acts of aggression or further destruction. We can never really forcefully change someone’s beliefs, we can only be the light that shows the way of what is possible and what can be changed. It is up to each and every one of us to decide to drop the old ways and embrace love and compassion. Like the site says, the best way is to allow change with love.



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