We have all encountered negative thoughts and emotions. Learning how to deal with them is the first step towards reclaiming our joy and happiness.
In one of my previous posts that I wrote called How to Let Go and Love What Is I discuss usual ways we deal with thoughts and emotions.
I will go with this subject into a bit more detail in this post.
It is worth noticing that there is a strong link between thoughts and emotions. Trying to answer what came first is a bit like doing the “chicken or egg” debate. There is no right answer.
Let’s try to keep it short and simple. When we feel sad (emotion) we start to think negative thoughts. The other way around also works. When we start to think negative thoughts we end up feeling negative emotion. Dealing with one or another will dissolve both things in the end. What I found from my own experience, dealing with emotion is much stronger and quicker than dealing with individual thoughts.
Ways we deal with our emotions
There are three major ways we use when it comes down to dealing with our negative emotions.
We either resist, suppress or we try to escape them.
1. Resisting and suppressing
When we start to feel something we don’t like we immediately go into resisting mode. We think that resistance somehow prevents the feeling or emotion from showing up. It is a behavior that we learned since we were kids. Think about a time when you were child and something that you didn’t like happened. You slammed your feet against the floor and screamed “NO”. Sometimes that caused outer circumstances to change and moved situation towards desired outcome.
Now ask yourself honestly, how many times did that actually work?
Not that many times, right?
Of course, you might have managed to pull it couple of times, but we can all agree that it was not a bulletproof method that works in the long run.
The question we need to ask ourselves now is why we as adults (well most of us anyway) somehow still believe that resisting helps us in any way?
This is because we falsely concluded that resisting leads to change.
We simply ignore (or forget) the fact that even if resistance succeeds in providing change, it rarely lasts for long and in the long run it does not bring expected benefits.
The truth is simple. What we are resisting, we hold in our minds. We focus on it.
If you are resisting negative people you have to have the picture of negative people surrounding you together with a strong negative emotion that is tied with that picture.
With every instance of thinking about it and not liking it, your focus on the subject of resistance becomes stronger. A quick way to manifest something we don’t like or want is by having a picture of what we don’t want and infuse it with enough negative energy to spring it into our reality. That is how unconscious manifestation takes place.
And after a prolonged period of resistance what usually follows is suppression.
We bury those negative feelings and emotions so deep that we don’t even register them with our conscious mind anymore. We act like an ostrich burying his head in the sand. If I don’t see it that means it is not there, right?
That doesn’t mean that our subconscious mind (which is more than 90% of our mind anyways) doesn’t actively work on transferring that energy into manifestation or attraction towards something we don’t like.
Then later on, when the manifestation in our lives occurs we are at first really surprised. It feels strange that somehow this unwanted thing appeared out of the blue.
However if we start digging into potential reasons/beliefs, we will without a doubt remember a past occurrence of something similar.
If the resistance and suppression don’t work, seemingly the most fun way to “deal” with our negative feelings then is to simply try to escape them.
We do it by watching TV, drinking, indulging in variety of body experiences or by numbing the mind. We bury ourselves in work. We keep ourselves busy.
We do whatever we can to occupy ourselves with issues and things. Time passes and with every further day it becomes easier to keep our feelings and negative emotions ignored.
The only problem is that we are not actually dealing with our core issues in any way shape or form. We are simply postponing them for some later time.
And if we have reached a phase where the energy is just too much to handle, we need to vent out by expressing.
This is quite often the most destructive way. It usually comes in bundles with anger or rage, but it can also have its more positive variation in strenuous physical exercise (sports or sex), where we are burning out accumulated negativity. The fact is that while it makes us feel better at first, the underlying issue that caused this energy to start building up in the first place is not being resolved.
Luckily for us there is a much better and a more permanent way to deal with negativity.
Healthy way to deal with negative thoughts and emotions
We can all choose to handle our negative thoughts and emotions by using natural ability that we all have and we were all born with.
It is called releasing.
Let’s try to see if releasing can become our direct experience. Do this little exercise with me and keep an open mind (heart).
Think of something negative that bothers you (or someone that bugs you). Bring your awareness to your stomach or chest and you will notice an unwanted feeling or a contraction there.
Now, open an imaginary door right over that feeling, that contraction, wide open, and allow the energy to pass through, and just allow it to leave.
Right now do this for a minute or two. Just allow yourself to immerse into this exercise fully.
Check and see if you already feel less bothered than you did a moment ago?
Notice the difference? Even if it is a small about at first, it is still in a positive direction and you are acknowledging you’re moving in the right direction. Continue letting go of unwanted energy.
If you don’t notice a difference or if you feel stuck, just allow that to be by saying Yes to the feeling.
Do you see you have been feeling negative? On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most negative and 1 being the least, where are you right now with regard to the feeling?
Can you see you have been saying No to the negativity? You don’t like the feeling, you have been saying No to it, right? So, when you say No to it, you’re actually collecting it.
Not let’s try something different. Just for now, you can come back to your old ways later on. But just for now, can you say Yes to the negativity —so you can allow it to leave? Say yes to it even more. And even more. And even more.
Instead of pushing down on it, can you just invite the feeling up? Say yes to the negativity and just let it come up and out.
Now check again.
On a scale of 1-10 where are you now with the negativity?
Check and notice if you moved – even if it is a small amount at first – it is still in a positive direction, and you’re acknowledging you’re in the right direction.
If you continue letting go of unwanted energy you will reach zero. And believe me if you remain open and continue using this technique you can do this with every negative feeling.
Once you are ready and willing to learn, there is a much quicker way to release. You can learn about it in my blog article Release Technique and Lester Levenson – Modern Day Real American Master.
There is always a choice in life. We can choose to resist and fight or we can choose to accept and love.
Releasing is about accepting and love. It is the best way for reaching our inner state of joy and happiness.
I encourage you to give it a try.