It seems like everywhere we go, fear and worry plague us all. It’s like a virus that has gotten out of control. And the real danger is, we actually think that worrying helps. I hope by the end of this post you will think again, and decide to stop worrying.
Please don’t take anything I say for granted, allow yourself to keep an open mind and be surprised with the results that show up.
Relax, sit back comfortably so that we can start from the begining and
Define Worry
Worry is a state characterized with increased anxiety and nervousness. If examined closely, we will see it is strongly and directly related with imagining the worst possible outcome for a certain situation or event. It is usually deeply connected with failure, pain, rejection, being hurt or death.
When we worry, we are actually using our current space and time to picture, or imagine, the worst possible outcome. In another words, we are focusing all our energy into visualizing the only thing we would not like to have happen.
From our earliest days, we were thought that the worry is good. That somehow, it is a sign of love, and if we really love a person we should also be worried about them a lot. The more we love a person, the more we should worry.
When we translate that really strong belief with the above described scenario, we get something like “The more we love a person, the more we picture the worst possible outcome that can happen”.
Now you tell me, is that really a way to love someone? If you are strongly holding on to that logic, then please don’t ever love me. I do not need people around me holding negative pictures about me in their minds. 😉
Should I Be Worried?
Our minds work in pictures and do not recognize negations like “NOT”, “DON’T” or “NEVER”. If you want a real world example and proof of this, I will use the famous analogy with a shoe.
Please do not think about a shoe! Never think about a shoe! Don’t walk inside the house with your shoes on!
Tell me, what picture did you have in mind? It was actually a picture of a shoe, right?
The above mentioned example is really important to take into account and I suggest you spend some time pondering it, because it clearly demonstrates something very powerful.
You don’t need to believe in the Law of Attraction or anything related to that, but you should be able to accept that the things you focus on most, are the things that you see more of in your life.
It’s like when you decide on a certain brand of car to buy, suddenly you start noticing those same cars around you more often, while before you probably did not.
How Can I Stop Worrying?
I will now share with you some of the ways to stop worrying that I use on myself whenever I feel the effects of worry.
- What is the worst thing that can happen method?
This method is also know as “digging towards fear of dying” method, as it was proven out that all fears that we have eventually lead to fear of dying.
Again, try this for yourself and you will see that it is really so.
You begin by asking yourself the question for a situation where you experience worry or anxiety. Whatever answer you get, you ask the same question on it again. You keep going as deep as you are prepared to go, uncovering layers and layers of subconscious garbage along the way.
Example: I worry about not passing the exam.
What is the worst thing that can happen to me if I don’t pass the exam? – I will fail
What is the worst thing that can happen to me if I fail? – I will be embarrassed
What is the worst thing that can happen to me if I get embarrassed? – I will be ridiculed and expelled from the society
What is the worst thing that can happen to me if I get ridiculed and expelled from the society? – I will die.
Just by asking myself questions in this way, I can recognize that my mind is feeding me misinformation, as in reality I will probably not die if I fail the exam.
But I can see that in the background it was this fear of dying present, and now when I clearly see it, I can decide it is ridiculous and just let it go. After all, it’s just my decision what I hold in mind and on what I focus.
- Allowing myself to experience internally the thing I worry about
I usually start this technique immediately after the first one, when I get to the fear of dying. When I am in a safe place, I just allow myself to experience this feeling, without wanting to separate myself from it or change it or make it leave in any other way or form. What I have personally noticed throughout the years of working with feelings, is that they all want to leave, if I allow them.
I allow myself to feel the fear of dying, in other words just to sit quietly looking at it internally, without doing anything in particular, providing and being a space where that feeling can be safely felt.
And what I notice is that the feeling naturally dissolves, and I am left in a much more peaceful state where I can be strong enough to just decide to stop worrying about the subject in the first place.
Conclusion
If you red my post carefully you saw that worrying is actually holding a negative picture about some person or situation in your mind. By doing that we are using the power of our focus and everything that we accept (or not accept) we are, to help bring that experience or situation about into the “real world.”
Use the above mentioned techniques to start dissolving the energy around worry, and as always if you need some help or assistance check out the reviews and recommendation page for some great courses and books that could help immensely with this subject.
My advise would be simply to decide to drop this nasty habit. It might take some time for you to be able to do it, but then again you took your time to learn how to worry. Now it is just a matter of persistence in unlearning what is no longer serving you.
Please comment bellow if you find the information useful or would like to share your point of view. I appreciate all views 🙂
I alway liked the quote : “If your problem has a solution then why worry about it? If your problem doesn’t have a solution then why worry about it?” 🙂
In my expirience worry has never brought me anything good.
You are so right Matty!
When you think about it, there are always just 2 possible outcomes for any given situation/problem. One is that it will be solved and another is that it won’t. Worry in each case proves out to be totally useless, and like you say, it never brings anything good.
It only keeps you disturbed and anxious, and finding a solution in that energy state could be impossible, meaning you will probably not see the solution that could be staring you right in the face.
Take care,
Sinisa
I can honestly say that I do tend to worry about a lot of things, but I tend to hide it well!
I have just learned a lot from your article, and I Thank You for the ways that can help me to stop worrying 🙂
Next time I start worrying about something, I will put your technique to the test so I can dig down deep.
This will help many other worriers out there!
Neil
Hi Neil!
Thats a great avatar picture btw! 🙂
I am glad you found some useful information in the article and I am looking forward seeing you on my site 🙂
Regards,
Sinisa
This is a really fascinating article, thanks for sharing.
I used to worry a lot myself, but I found that the ‘worst case scenario’ situation worked really well for me. My little sister, though, tends to worry about everything. She even annoys herself with it because she knows she does it but feels powerless to stop it. I’ll send her the link to this article, and hopefully it will help her out 🙂
Thanks again,
Chloe
Hi Chloe!
Thank you for commenting. I think we can all relate to someone in our close family circle that is a worrier 😉 After all, we had to learn it from somewhere, right? 🙂
I am glad you liked the article!
Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you again
Regards,
Sinisa
In certain way worrying is part of the human essence, if your child is in the hospital it’s natural to be worried about it, also worrying could help you to take action to solve a problem, the issue is that people worry about the future, about things that haven’t happened and probably won’t happen, or even for current problems, but worrying is not helping to solve them, it could lead to accumulate more stress, I think the point is knowing how to control the level of your worry.
Hi Franchesca and thank you for joining the discussion 🙂
Yes, worrying is usually considered as something that helps you to solve a problem, but you need to ask yourself, would you be taking action steps to solve an issue even without worrying, or do you basically need to worry in order to be motivated?
We are so programmed into the belief that worry is necessary in order to do or change something or some situation.
If your child is in the hospital, it needs to be loved and taken care off, not being exposed to negativity in any form, and my point of view is, from what I have experienced so far, that worry is completely negative. It serves no purpose other then to upset us. Due to the accumulated stress, it evens lowers our ability to cope with the situation and come up with rational responses to life challenges.
In a way, controlling the level of your worry can start by fully understanding what worry is, and then deciding to abandon the practice fully, thus moving the level of worry to zero 😉
Take care,
Sinisa
You make some really relevant points here and ones which I agree with wholeheartedly. When caught up with incessant worrying, it can be very difficult to snap out of this mentality,but the demonstrations and examples you give are spot on. I especially like your visual explanation involving the shoes! 🙂
Have you got anymore tips and advice for positive thinking? Thanks
Holly
Hi Holly,
When it comes to being positive in life, what I would advice (coming from my own experience), is to focus more on releasing or letting go the negative pictures and expectations (in forms of worry, anxiety, fear etc) which will then naturally lead you to a positive space. Focusing on positive thinking while continuing to hold on to negative pictures is difficult and not as powerful or lasting. Letting go of negativity leaves you positive and loving.
I feel like this article is for me, I just over think a lot and usually look down on myself. Although I am aware of this, it’s really hard to break the habit and when I try too hard, I’d get even more pissed at myself for not being able to stop. It’s a vicious circle.
I like the allowing yourself to feel worried and anxious. It may sound counter-intuitive at first but it works amazingly well. When I start to look at the situation at hand and my emotions, it’s much easier to find a solution as opposed to just try to evade it. When you do that, those fuzzy feelings just keep coming back.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Anh! Worrying can be a strong habit to break, but I am sure you will agree that the benefits of changing or dropping it are huge.
We live in a society where worry is often regarded as a sign of love. It couldn’t been farther from the truth. Real love has nothing to do with picturing negative images.
I am glad you liked the allowing part, sometimes it is all that is necessary to begin the letting go process.
Feelings will keep coming back until we let them go. And the good news is that we can let them go.
Hello and thanks for this interesting post. In my opinion we attract from our emotion makeup. This is why when we worry about a particular thing over time, that thing will be attracted into our reality. It is not always easy to shake the habit of worrying, but we must make an effort to monitor our thoughts and feelings. We can accept the feelings as feedback that we can learn from. Don’t worry be happy!
Hi Johhny! Thank you for adding to this discussion. I agree with you, what we focus on mostly we attract into our lives, the only thing I would like to stress is that we focus on “stuff” both consciously and subconsciously. That is the reason why sometimes when we manifest a result we don’t like we might begin to feel like a victim. It is important to catch oneself if and when this occurs.
I like how you linked feelings as feedback, it is true, it’s what Ester Hicks calls “emotional guidance system”.
Regards,
S.