Our minds are very conditional. We choose to be happy only if certain things (that we decided are good) happened. We don’t accept our life the way it is.
In other words, as soon as something that we don’t like happens, we are no longer happy.
Examples of non-acceptance can be found in huge numbers throughout our lives.
It can be something simple, like resistance to waiting for a table in the restaurant. Or getting upset when the waiter doesn’t bring what we ordered.
We all need to realize that we are the ones choosing to be upset, angry or to disapprove simply because we are rejecting what appears before our very own eyes.
That rejection or resistance is what is causing the experience of unhappiness.
From that, we can simply conclude that our happiness is directly proportional to our level of acceptance, or that our misery is proportional to our level of resistance.
Is it then possible to increase our level of happiness by increasing our level of acceptance?
This question is really worth asking, as in the answer lies a great liberation.
I have found that if I can somehow accept things more, I can be happy more.
And what does it take for us to accept things more?
It’s simply a decision that I am willing to make. The decision to let go of the resistance and negativity.
The only reason why we are not accepting things is because we have strong negative feelings towards them.
And if we manage to let go those negative feelings, we would no longer need to resist experiences that trigger them in the first place.
By letting go of the non-acceptance, our acceptance naturally shows up.
Our minds will keep telling us that the solution to our happiness is in trying to control as much of the life as possible can. We should strive to control all situations and predict (and be prepared) for all possible outcomes and directions. And I think we all realize in one level or another that having total and absolute control over life experiences is impossible.
There must be another answer.
In my experience, the answer was to start making myself less affected by my life experiences.
We have all experienced that some things simply don’t bother us in the same way every time they happen. We all have good days and we have bad days. Those “good” or “bad” days are directly linked to our level of acceptance. It has nothing to do with the day of the week.
This alone should point out that happiness is directly tied to our reaction to life experiences.
Next time you experience resistance or anger, simply decide that you will not be a slave to your emotions, and decide to let go of the underlying negative feelings instead.
There is no quick fix for this. It’s simply a coin you need to be dropping every day, until one day we wake up and realize there is nothing that needs to be dropped anymore.
Until that day comes, start simply by taking one step at a time in the right direction. Begin with accepting your life the way it is in this moment.
It is not like you have much choice. Either you accept or you resist.
The choice is (y)ours.
Love,
Sinisa
Images courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net